Aaron Weds Sharon
WHAT OTHERS DID NOT KNOWWe took a rick and headed for Sarita Lawns after mass. We reached there early and had almost an hour with us and since Peter [Shel] was nervous about the toast and wanted to have a drink to calm his nerves, we headed out to look for a bar. He seemed to know the place well and all the sidey bars that were in the gallis and since we had Tashu with us we were spared that horror. Makes me wonder how come he knows all these places. Some youth he must have had. We ended up going to Quarterdecks [its nothing like the one in Dubai] and we had to walk quiet a bit and we had people staring at us three guys in suits and one decked up gal walking towards this bar and it looked pretty shady types but since we didn’t have an option we went in.
Picked a secluded spot, which wasn’t too difficult because there was only another couple in the place besides us and straight away ordered our drinks. I don’t usually drink but since it was a special occasion I decided to give these guys company. 3 shots of rum for Peter, 2 flaming B-52’s for Vee, one for me, one for Tashu who also had some other drink. I love the taste of Bailey’s liqueur and this one was full of it.
Peter still had not calmed his nerves and we headed back to the venue nonetheless. Three of us took a rick back and Peter ran the distance in his suit. Why? No one knows the answer to that but I think that maybe the drink finally showed some effect.
THE VENUEThe place was well done up from the outside and we met Jones [Sharon] mom at the entrance and we introduced ourselves. Jones obviously had been talking to her mom about us because she goes [aah you are Melwyn] and I was like [Jones I am going to kill you]. The lawns were spacious and had a nice ambiance. I think I found where Ganpati Mandap’s put up all their decorations after the festival celebrations were over. Also there was the typical Shehnai music playing which is usually heard at Indian weddings. Just kidding on that one, but they did have some amazing décor done up in golden, red and white which I guess was the theme color of the wedding.
There were two large tables on either side of the stage and I guessed correctly that those were for the families and close relatives. We picked a spot on the right and sat down and listened to the DJ belting out love songs to set the mood right.
THE EVENTConfetti was distributed, party poppers distributed and we all stood in a circle to welcome the newly wedded couple. They arrived and we did our part in throwing the confetti into Jones hair that made it look like a black bouquet with confetti and Vee was giving us his scientific gyaan on how to angle the party popper in the proper direction so that it goes right above them and ended up blowing the whole thing on ourselves. Thanks Vee. We then stood back to to enjoy the traditional makka pav reception. When I say "traditional" I don't mean it strictly in the mainstream way. They have their own traditions which are slightly different than what you may be used to.
The emcee maraoed some jokes to start with. Have heard these so many times that I think they might as well just announce that I am going to tell you the joke about so and so. He then invited them to cut the cake which they did. I was hoping that Jones would not be her gourmet self and eat more than 1 slice and she did not. Good Girl. They then proceeded to the stage and the whole bridal party was introduced. [I noticed the Bridesmaid Nisha had a cool tattoo on her back.]
THE TOASTSome more jokes later Peter was called to deliver the much awaited toast. He started off well, wove his humor into the speech so that it did not look like jokes were included in it simple for the sake of being funny. Some interesting lines from his toast were:
- It was only a matter of time before the PR turned into Pyaar!
- They say in marriage, you need to have a lot in common. But it’s actually just three things, love, trust and respect.
- May you share everything with each other... and that includes the housework…
- May you have many children and may they be as sought after as the contents of this glass…
- May all of your ups and downs be only in your bedroom…
I found the humor very subtle and very good but I do not think that too many people at the wedding got them. There wasn’t a great response to the humor really. I guess most people were taken up by the starters, the cake and the wine. Great Toast Peter!
There were a few oops moments too in the toast. Peter rewrote the Old Testament with Eve being made out to be a lesbian and he changed the nick Jones gave me.
- “Eve could have married any girl she wanted to.”
- Pelu [that is me] was made Pullu
THE RESPONSECarter [Aaron] responded very well to the toast and had very good stage presence and was very sweet to address his beloved as his wife of two hours. Already feeling the effects of marriage ha Carter! Counting the hours already?
Jones too had a few words of thanks to her parents, she mentioned us too as we had come all the way down from Dubai to attend, her boss from Dubai who was there too and all the other boys who had proposed to her who and who were kind enough to not attend.
Nisha in the meantime had already downed the whole glass of wine and was left with an empty glass when it was time for the photograph.
DANCE MASTIThe couple did their first dance and we all did what was expected out of us, we said “awww”. Then we had to join in. now the problem was that we were three guys and there was just one girl with us. So very smartly Vee takes Tahsu and goes for the wedding march, [Tahsu introduced us to Neha who was Jones friend and works in Dubai and her kid sister Nikita], so Peter was quick in asking Neha out and before I even knew what was happening I had to walk the pretty but little Nikita out to the March. Peter your wife is going to hear about this.
We did all the usual dances, I was as awkward as ever, and Nikita and me danced with a gap big enough between us, that Vee and could come and stand in between if he cared to. But I did dish out some career and academic advice to her on the dance floor. Vee did one jive with Tashu which had everyone looking at them in awe [he loves that feeling] and then one with the Bride who managed to look graceful dancing even in her wedding gown. Then there was a salsa number on for a bit and the Maid of Honor Sue Ellen entertained us with a well executed number.
The masala songs started and it was funny to see some old aunties trying to outdo the youngsters on the floor. One aunty in particular did not know the steps and was struggling to keep rhythm. [The video will have it all] Peter did his Mithun and Bobby Deol moves, Carter surprisingly was bindaas on the floor and he to executed some Mithun moves. Full I am a disco dancer types. Tahsu and me did some Kolhi dancing which I am sure made us look like idiots over there but then again who cares.
[on popular demand by the bride this sentence is included] - Jones continued to dance well [she always does] and was looking very gorgeous.
THE WANDERERSVee let his wandering eyes wander and he was caught red handed on camera ogling at Neha’s anatomy. Peter too while dancing kept glancing her way. Neha - you have two fans and one of them has bad thoughts in his mind. Beware!
THE CIRCLES AND THE CHAIRSThe boys formed a circle around Jones and the girls around Carter. While the boys had a good time dancing with the Bride, the girls did not exploit the situation and Carter escaped unscathed. Sahil did some funny and weird dance that left us in splits and the Best Man showed off some Sunny Deol ant killing steps as well.
Then we did the whole picking them up on the chair thingy and I opted to go for Jones cos she is lighter and Vee and Peter had a tough time with Carter cos he ain’t as light as he looks like. After almost dropping him down twice they finally managed to get the two into the middle and the couple indulged in a long passionate kiss and I literally had to yell, “enough guys it ain’t the honeymoon yet”, before the pulled themselves away.
CARTER GETS THE GARTERAll the unmarried men and women were asked to form two separate circles and Jones was blindfolded and she threw the bouquet which was caught by the lil flower girl and hence had to be done again. That was a really good catch though as the bouquet was almost behind her and she took the catch at full length. Anyways another girl caught the bouquet and she was now the ‘selected one’.
Then Carter blindfolded, had to put his hands under Jones gown and look for her garter and take it off. He took awfully long for that. I am sure he found it easy just took his time to get a good feel. Must be the effects of that long kiss. Anyways it took so long that it gave Vee a chance to put his incredible large feet into his mouth. Again. So whats happened was as Carter was looking for the garter, his mum passed our way and Vee jokingly mentioned, “Aunty, see what your son is doing.” His mom looked that way and you could see the horror on her face when she saw her son with his hand under her daughter in law’s gown. “Aaron what are you doing?” was the response but the words did not reach him with all the cheering happening. [I am sure he got it later from his mum]
So this time Carter is blindfolded and he throws the Garter and unfortunately it falls short of everyone and right in front of us. Vee and I pretended not to see it and to our delight Sachin swoops in like an eagle eager to get his worm and he picks it up. Then Sachin and the girl whose name I cannot remember were asked to kiss and he kissed the bouquet instead. It was fun watching the embarrassed look on their face.
STAGE RAGEAfter mingling, Carter and Jones took the stage. People poured in to wish them even as they eating. Peter had some funny expressions on his face even when we went to wish the couple on stage. A friend from UAE wanted to wish them and Carter was on the phone while Peter was wishing him and Peter was standing there for a good 20 seconds holding his hand.
FOOD MOODI decide to give the meals a skip since we were planning on going to Hard Rock after the reception. Tahsu gave me a few bites from her plate and my whole resolve went to the bloody dogs and I returned with a plate full to the brim. Vee showed how much he loved the food by feeding some to his shirt and tie as well.
THE ENDWe had a blast. Fun wedding and it’s always more enjoyable when you know both sides. Love you two and have a happy married life. [Carter that means you are going to have to do all the adjusting].
