You are many people. Most people know that they are who they actually are and who others think they are, but what most do not realize that they also are who they want others to think they are. It’s called the reflective self [my brother gave me the word for it while we sat at the beach talking this weekend]. And it plays such a big role in shaping who you are.
So when I ask you tell me something about you its very likely that you will reveal what you want me to think of you as opposed to who you really are. And we tend to get so engrossed in depicting this perception to others that we tend to believe it at times even if it is not true. Over the years you built a certain reputation and now you stuck with it and you like it and even though its not you anymore you have to work hard to keep up that impression. And we then spend most of our lives living that or trying to undo that reputation.
There are some of us who of us who face ourselves but lack the balls to face the world, there are others who face the world but then cannot face themselves and then there are those who face the world and themselves but have to go through a lot of crap to be that way. This reflective self comes from our conditioning. It comes from what is taught to us directly or indirectly and we are slaves to that conditioning. I will not tread carefully to be politically correct here. There are those who do not follow any of the principles of religion but are at the fore of all religious functions to show how religious they are. There are those who are married, but keep testing the water [you know what I mean] given the chance if they think they can manage it slyly and get away with it. There are those who rationalize things according to the situation and then tell themselves, ‘I am not that kind of a person [you believe your reputation over reality] and I am only doing this within limits’. There are those caught in bad situations but cannot get out because of what other people will say and think. And there are many more of ‘those’.
If you look back at your life, you will see that there was one person who was really special to you in your life and that person is not there anymore as the years passed by. If you look carefully you will realize that the person was you yourself. It was you and your innocence that made life so beautiful. Gone are the times when you thought that your parents were the best parents in the world apart from your dad being the most handsome and your mum the most beautiful. Gone are the times when you had the best family, the best uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents and friends. Gone are the times when you thought that even if you moved to a better house you would like the same neighbors to come along there as well. Gone are the times when on a deserted road you looked at a stranger and were happy that there was another person there.
The world remained the same. We changed. Our outlook changed. Those days we had no set principles but we followed them nonetheless. Now we have principles that we talk about and harp about but we do not follow them and even if we do we bend them every once in a while. Our problem is our reflective self. We hold others to standards that we ourselves cannot live by. That is the hypocrisy of our lives. We never lie, but we just do not speak the truth either. I know of a person who told me that she had buried the hatchet; she did not mention that she buried it in my back.
Reflect Yourself.
So when I ask you tell me something about you its very likely that you will reveal what you want me to think of you as opposed to who you really are. And we tend to get so engrossed in depicting this perception to others that we tend to believe it at times even if it is not true. Over the years you built a certain reputation and now you stuck with it and you like it and even though its not you anymore you have to work hard to keep up that impression. And we then spend most of our lives living that or trying to undo that reputation.
There are some of us who of us who face ourselves but lack the balls to face the world, there are others who face the world but then cannot face themselves and then there are those who face the world and themselves but have to go through a lot of crap to be that way. This reflective self comes from our conditioning. It comes from what is taught to us directly or indirectly and we are slaves to that conditioning. I will not tread carefully to be politically correct here. There are those who do not follow any of the principles of religion but are at the fore of all religious functions to show how religious they are. There are those who are married, but keep testing the water [you know what I mean] given the chance if they think they can manage it slyly and get away with it. There are those who rationalize things according to the situation and then tell themselves, ‘I am not that kind of a person [you believe your reputation over reality] and I am only doing this within limits’. There are those caught in bad situations but cannot get out because of what other people will say and think. And there are many more of ‘those’.
If you look back at your life, you will see that there was one person who was really special to you in your life and that person is not there anymore as the years passed by. If you look carefully you will realize that the person was you yourself. It was you and your innocence that made life so beautiful. Gone are the times when you thought that your parents were the best parents in the world apart from your dad being the most handsome and your mum the most beautiful. Gone are the times when you had the best family, the best uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents and friends. Gone are the times when you thought that even if you moved to a better house you would like the same neighbors to come along there as well. Gone are the times when on a deserted road you looked at a stranger and were happy that there was another person there.
The world remained the same. We changed. Our outlook changed. Those days we had no set principles but we followed them nonetheless. Now we have principles that we talk about and harp about but we do not follow them and even if we do we bend them every once in a while. Our problem is our reflective self. We hold others to standards that we ourselves cannot live by. That is the hypocrisy of our lives. We never lie, but we just do not speak the truth either. I know of a person who told me that she had buried the hatchet; she did not mention that she buried it in my back.
Reflect Yourself.
1 comment:
I totally agree... these are things that come to your mind once youve crossed the age of 25... and are steadily inching towards the dreadful 30.... you're still figuring yrself out ... and u've got into the rut of being what others expect you to be ! u've conditioned yrself to suchan extent that you've forgotten what your true self is - and that perhaps the current you IS yr true self.....its all a bungled up mess!
but remember, being righteous & honest to one self is the way to go ....... but also to err is human ;) so no need to dwell too much over all this......just pour some beer & chill while the fun times last
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