Office Howlers

I must rent out that movie - Junk Food Country. [He meant Fast Food Nation]

Mangalore Mischief

I was reading the news online on the attack on the pub in Mangalore. “We are custodians of the Indian culture” says the founder of the organization. Of course you are. Can some armed forces people please take notice of this and recruit these people into the army, navy or air force. We have finally found some patriots who are wiling to do something for this country. And if they are so vehemently against the outside attack on the culture I am sure they will be even more brutal on those who attack our soil.

So India finally finds some youth who are willing to fight for its motherland. Why is there such a big hue and cry I don’t understand? What they did was right. I mean let’s face it, drinking, listening to music and dancing is not a part of the Indian culture. Have you ever heard of Indians ever doing this? Do you think any of the members of this band had ever done any such thing in their life? No ways.

And how dare these girls go to a pub? All women who go there are prostitutes and whores. Didn’t they know this? They must all be beaten up, molested and ridiculed, only then will they learn a lesson.

How long? How long are we going to tolerate this bullshit? What the f***? All like minded people should just get together and form a band and go and break the bones of these people who dare to go and touch their daughters and sisters. Gone are the days on non violence. Lets just bring it on. Take the fight to their camp. Fight it on their turf. Find fault with every single thing they do. Bring religion into it too. Use their own standards against them. Punish them for celebrating birthdays because it is a western concept. Beat the crap outta anyone of them who wears jeans, burn the tongues of those of them who even utter a word of English. Spare none of them. Think of any such thing that can be used against them and use is because they will do the same.

Make no mistake; this is the war on terror. They are terrorizing us with all this culture and religion bullshit.

Wake up Mangalore. Wake up. This is the time to fight back.

Pranaam Chacha [Greetings Uncle]

This story is from the days of yonder.

Nandu, one of my closest friends was moving house. As usual I was called to do the ghada majdoori for her. Her uncle was in charge of a warehouse so he offered to keep her furniture till she returned and moved into the new place. Now she has not met this uncle too many times. Maybe just three or four times. So he isn’t that close to him as one should be with an uncle.

So she comes back a month later and we have located a house and its time to move in there. We are waiting at the house and her uncle calls to say that he has arrived and is coming up with the furniture. So our lady here waits near the door and as soon as the man enters in she falls at his feet and says, “Pranaam chacha.” I was a little surprised because this guy looked different from the guy I saw last as her uncle. Anyways he had this surprised look on his face, was taken aback almost and he walks in with some of the stuff and after him comes in the uncle who I knew as her uncle and she falls at his feet too with the whole ‘Pranaam chacha’ bit.

Three more people come in and help dump all of the furniture in the house and we offer them some tea and biscuits. After the whole thing got done we walked her uncle down and thanked him. As soon as he left I burst out laughing and Nandu was red as a cherry. The first guy who walked in was one of the helpers who works for her uncle and there she was falling at his feet calling him ‘Chacha’. And he uncle also must have laughed on his way home.

Nandu you always stick those pretty feet of yours into your mouth. Life around you is so interesting.

Rear Entrance

Our office has two entrances. The main entrance and one at the rear that is basically the fire exit. Some guys use that entrance as it’s less crowded in the morning hours. Now the catch is that you cannot open it from the outside so you need an ally inside to let you in. One of my colleagues calls the receptionist and tells her

“Please open from the backside, I want to come inside.”