[this one really got my sis laughing. And no offense to women.]
Hey guys,
I’m on a major trip. And this is cos I’m really heart broken. My gf doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time. She wants a mediocre man, and I am working hard to be as mediocre as possible. She laughs at everything I say. Why? Not because she thinks it’s funny but because she has fine teeth.
Then comes the final sentence to every argument. Why don’t you want to marry me? There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is when I'll get married. The trouble with marrying your gf is that you create a job vacancy. Lol. But to impress a woman to become your gf, all you need is the dope. I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.
I want to be successful in life. Behind every successful man stands a proud gf and a surprised to be mother-in-law. If it up to her then she’d like a world without men. Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
But being with her I realised many things about women. God created women because He couldn't teach sheep how to type. And therein comes the secret to a successful nation. He who can govern a woman can govern a nation. So now we know why Mr Bush is not doing so well. Women like silent men. They think they're listening. Dennis you are going to be the ideal husband.
So I finally broke up with my gf. If you don't think women are explosive, try dropping one. Why haven't women got labels on their foreheads saying, "Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends. We had a lot in common. I loved her and she loved her.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. And trust me I am. I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
There is a big difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation is when you think she's as sexy as Pamela Anderson, as smart as Sushmita, as noble as Sonia Gandhi, as funny as Whoopi Goldberg, and as athletic as Serena Williams. Love is when you realise that she's as sexy as Whoopi Goldberg, as smart as Pamela, as funny as Serena Williams, as athletic as Sonia Gandhi, and nothing like Sushmita--but you'll take her anyway. And it also means you need to get your head checked.
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line. There is no human problem, which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advised. I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. And a lot of girls, I mean a lot, a lot would endorse that.
Hey guys,
I’m on a major trip. And this is cos I’m really heart broken. My gf doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time. She wants a mediocre man, and I am working hard to be as mediocre as possible. She laughs at everything I say. Why? Not because she thinks it’s funny but because she has fine teeth.
Then comes the final sentence to every argument. Why don’t you want to marry me? There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is when I'll get married. The trouble with marrying your gf is that you create a job vacancy. Lol. But to impress a woman to become your gf, all you need is the dope. I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.
I want to be successful in life. Behind every successful man stands a proud gf and a surprised to be mother-in-law. If it up to her then she’d like a world without men. Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
But being with her I realised many things about women. God created women because He couldn't teach sheep how to type. And therein comes the secret to a successful nation. He who can govern a woman can govern a nation. So now we know why Mr Bush is not doing so well. Women like silent men. They think they're listening. Dennis you are going to be the ideal husband.
So I finally broke up with my gf. If you don't think women are explosive, try dropping one. Why haven't women got labels on their foreheads saying, "Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends. We had a lot in common. I loved her and she loved her.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. And trust me I am. I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
There is a big difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation is when you think she's as sexy as Pamela Anderson, as smart as Sushmita, as noble as Sonia Gandhi, as funny as Whoopi Goldberg, and as athletic as Serena Williams. Love is when you realise that she's as sexy as Whoopi Goldberg, as smart as Pamela, as funny as Serena Williams, as athletic as Sonia Gandhi, and nothing like Sushmita--but you'll take her anyway. And it also means you need to get your head checked.
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line. There is no human problem, which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advised. I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent. And a lot of girls, I mean a lot, a lot would endorse that.
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